2011-year of abandonment

it has been ages since i have time to really put my thought into words. tonight i really really cannot sleep and i totally blame deen for the teh tarik halia he brought back home after the meeting. coz of that my eyes are wide open till now.

this year i think i have abandon so many thing.... i scrap my stationery shop and put so much less focus on http://www.melur.com/ , infact i hardly update the website now and onhold the online plant shop until dunno when. I feel i cannot cop..my 24 hours seem so short while i have so many things to do...i have postpone my master thesis to another semester when i alreay finsh 80% of it... not a wise decision i guess but i need to give myself a room to breath. my little baby alisha is nearly 1 year now. she will be 1 year in another 20 days... i may say that she is the main reason why i declare this year as year of abandonment , but i have no regret on this. if i have to let go everything just to see my babies growly happily... i have no doubt to let it go... ( this is the basic motherly feel that im sure every mothers in the world wide world will have)

Open the heart

I always believe that time will always heal the pain. Sooner or later all the bitterness in life will fade over time.The only thing that i never know is how long? 10 years 20 years or forever? so i just wait and wait... for the time to wipe the pain away... but it never happen.

in the past recent years i was tested with the test that i always scare..i always afraid that it will happen in any point of my life... and it really happen. Thank You Allah, i am gratefull that i have passed it.When we are tested .. we become stronger..eventhough there are times when i woke up in the middle of the night, performed solah and ask my Creator to give me extra strength i neede to go through the test...to make me a better person and to forgive my ignorance. Though i never consider myself as religous( infact i am not at all...but still trying my best to be the obedient slave to my creator), i always come back to Him when i face any difficulties or obstacles in life( like most people do... remembering Allah during hard time only..:( ..

After all those years.. after countless days and nights of doa , for me to be able to forgive and forget and for the other side to forget forever...now i am proudly announce that i am officially heal. Yes!! i healed ...all the pain was gone.. i can forgive... and the most important thing is i can almost forget...sooner..soner... i will totally forget... i just realize that to forgive and forget is easy... the hardest part is to open my heart to do it.. to let go and stop dwelling to the past.it took me more than a decade before i can open my heart to let go..Alhamdulillah .. i never think this is possible... but yet its just happen.

why not me

There is a point in life when we will keep on asking why me?...why me? and why not other people.I have reached this point several times in my life of 36 years so far. First time when i was a kid.. life was so hard and i keep on asking myself ..why i was born to be me and not somebody else.many-many years later i changed the question to why not me? and i accept the fate by and by and try to manipulate it in a way that i can..and it make me stronger...
it was me because Allah only tested us when He know we can deal with it(somebody in my past use to say this).I was the chosen one.. all the test in life has bring me to be what i am now.I was choose to experience it myself so i would know how it feel... not just heard it happen to other people.
why lar i keep talking about this now.. thinking about my hubby will be leaving me for a training in US , with the 4 kids alone for 3 months actually scare me.. how i am suppose to live without him( with the kids around). Its not that the kids wont listen to me but they listen to their father more than to me.. its gonna be a really tough months for me .. and if i want to finish my msc by this year i need to prepare for the viva in May when he is away...
i was the choosen one cause i can handle it... ( need to repeat this to myself hundred times a day...huaaaaaa)

Life without a maid ( and 4 growing babies)

it's hard for me to find some times to jot anything down here. my life has been damnly busy lately , try to catch up with so many things ( i drop some of the things, with the hope to pick it up again when things get slow down). With 3 kids growing up and a baby at 'active' state , learn to walk now.. my 24 hours is really occupied.my master thesis has been left abandon for almost 2 months but i need to give myself some room to breath.

looking that this video sent to me by a friend ( don't know how true it is)i am glad that i follow my heart not to get any replacement for my runnaway maid. Allah knows what is the best for us. Eventhough my daily life is extremely busy now with the weekend just enough to settle all the pile up laundry, at least i am enjoying the tranquility of living the life just on my own with just my family without a stranger.

My Fb status for 2010

To err is human

my asus EE PC

oh my... i just recklessly spend my money on new Asus Eee PC( http://www.laptopmag.com/review/laptops/asus-eee-pc-1015pem.aspx#axzz175Ddmg00) ... something that i can stuff into my handback easily without have to bring that heavy and bulky laptop bag. with currently 3 laptops and 1 desktop computer ( all uptodate spec) at home, another netbook is the last thing i should buy... but i still buy it.... cannot help... cannot help...

easy to be a good parent, difficult to be a good child

i certainly agree with that. As a parent we always want to give the best to our kids. The best education, the school, the best food, clothing and the best etc. We are willing to do all thos kind of BEST thing, nobody need to force us. Failing to fulfill the BEST thing will make us feel that we are a bad , ignorent, irresponsible parents.

BUT how many time we try to give the BEST thing to our parents? we are so busy with our life until one simple call to say "HOW ARE U" everyday becomes so hard to fulfill.Yeah it sure make us feel guilty but we keep on continue with our life... forgiving ourselves... for leaving our parents behind ( well a lil bit, but still behind).

If our parents sick( minor sickness), then normally if we live away from them , we will just call and ask how they are. And will call any siblings who live nearby to check for our parents and bring them to hospital or clinic. Why cant we ourslve, drop anything that we are currently doing and visit them? What is more important than 2 people that brought us to life? And if the sibling who stay nearer cannot entertain our request to look after the parents or send the parents to hospital, we tend to get mad and probably say " That's the advantage of having someone near , just bring mother/father to clinic, it cant be that difficult!!". Yes, Its easy but we never do it ourselves.

If we live near to them, we still will be very busy with our live. but when a sibling who live away called we will say, i've look after them, but what else you expect me to do? i also have my own life and kids...why dont you yourselves come back and attend them for yourselve? if you are busy i am busy tooo...hmmmm... that's normally happen...

but if our kid is sick, we will definitely send them to clinic right away. we can took emergency leave to excuse from work to take care of them.

Ark kena pukau??

Lama betul tak mengupdate blog ambo ni... maklumla... buzzy le katakan... hehehe.. cerita ni my hubby dah cerita dari last week lagi tapi memang tak sempat nak didokumentasikan..

aku ni kalo time kurang buzzy sket hari jumaat suka ikut hubby pegi semayang jumaat kat masjid bayan baru , tapi hubby je la semayang jumaat,selalunya seperti biasa pompuan cam aku ni apa lagi melepak kat sunshine la.. cuci2 mata tengok beg ke kasut ke.. kalau tak dapat beli dapat tengok pun jadi la...

ceritanya pasal sorang akak tu yang modus operandinya sama cam aku jugak. time husband dia semayang jumaat dia pun lepak le sengsorang kat sunshine. Nak dijadikan cerita datangla mamat indonesia ni tepuk bahu dia. Terus akak ni terpisah dari dunia luar..tapi sebelum tu sempat jugak dia SMS husband dia cakap dia takut. bila husband dia pegi cari kat sunshine memang tak de... sampai la 3 hari kemudia lepas husbandnya pegi jumpa sorang ustaz tu..barula akak ni dijumpai kat dalam sunshine dengan baju yang dia pakai hari hilang tu, dengan barang2 shopping dia hari tu..tapi kasut dah hilang. rupanya sepanjang 3 hari tu akak tu tak pegi mana pun ada dalam sunshine tu jugak..tapi orang yang mencari semua tak nampak. sekang ni akak tu tengah berubat sebab walaupun dia dah sedar masa dijumpai tu tapi lepas tu dia jadi cam murung dan terganggu.

herankan.. tapi ni citer betul.. aku tanya gak hubby ..buat ape pulak mamat tu pukau2 pastu tinggal cam tu je. kata hubby aku menurut ustaz tu mungkin orang ni ingat akak tu perempuan single kot..so jadi mamat ni mungkin ada niat nak menjadikan akak ni mesin cetak duit dia...ye la bila dah kena pukau .. penat2 keja pun boleh bagi duit kat dia.. tapi lepas tu dia tahu akak ni ada husband sebab tu dia tinggal cam tu je. entahla..hanya mamat tu dan Allah je yang tahu apa niatnya

so kengkawan sesiapa yang jalan sorang2 kat mana2 harap berhati2 sikit. kalau dengar cerita kosong atau cerita o je aku mmg susah nak percaya tapi ini datangnya dari sumber yang sah...

nota: sunshine adalah supermarket kat sebelah masjid bayan baru

Restaurants statistic in Malaysia

berhempas pulas cari info yang bagi statistik restoran kat malaysia tapi tak jumpa.macam macam keyword guna anatara " jumlah restoran di Malaysia" "Number of Restaurants in Malaysia" "Malaysia restaurant statistic", hampes tak jumpa Alternatif terakhir ialah aku cari kat :

http://www.701panduan.com/index.php?sid=1&lang=en&act=approximatch+search&item=1&dAction=Search&what=Restaurants&where=All&dAction.x=52&dAction.y=6701panduantapi masih kena bekerja keras dan compile data2 tu. penat2 mengompile ni rasanya berbaloi jugak kalau boleh share ngan org2 yang cari info yang sama

states	Cities	no of rest
WP	Kuala Lumpur	2522
Selangor	Petaling Jaya	1068
Perak	Ipoh	421
Penang	Georgetown	378
Johor	Johor Bahru	274
Selangor	klang	226
Sabah	kota Kinabalu	190
Selangor	subang jaya	193
Selangor	shah alam	152
Sarawak	Kuching	16
Negeri Sembilan	Seremban	117
Selangor	Ampang	109
Pahang	Kuantan	122
Penang	Bayan Lepas	91
Penang	penang ( other place)	96
Melaka	Melaka	97
Selangor	Puchong	90
Penang	Bukit Mertajam	61
Kedah	Alor Star	58
Selangor	Kajang	54
Kelantan	Kota Bharu	56
Selangor	Seri Kembangan	59
Selangor	Rawang	29
Sarawak	sibu	38
Sarawak	miri	47
Selangor	Batu Cave	30
Terengganu	Kuala Terengganu	37
WP	Putrajaya	30
Johor	Muar	27
Kedah	Langkawi	44
perak	Teluk Intan	26
Perak	Sitiawan	31
Perak	Taiping	39
penang	Butterworth	48
penang	Gelugor	27
sabah	Tawau	27
Johor	Skudai	34
Negeri Sembilan	Port Dickson	29
Kedah	Sungai Petani	48
sabah	Sandakan	30
Johor	Batu Pahat	40
Penang	Prai	28
Selangor	Cheras	29
Johor	Keluang	32
penang	Batu Feringgi	19
Johor	Segamat	23
perlis	Kangar	29
Johor	Kulai	21
Pahang	Genting Highlands	20
Johor	Masai	21
Malaysia	Malaysia( other cities)	2378
total		9711