Serenity of the soul

this morning when i sent Alani to her school, i stumbled with a limp girl, infact badly limp, it's so obvious, i can see her one leg is obviously shorter than another.She's walking to the table and have a quiet breakfast alone.Suddenly i felt a pinch in my heart. Life must be very hard for her, especially in primary school, Where kids at that age normally hard to understand. Even a small defect can put you to be the center of humiliation.I hope she will be strong.Environment and people around us act like a mould , carve us into any shape we prefer to be.Making us who we are.Eventhough many things are beyond our control, when we are matured enough , we found that life is actually in our control. Certain things that we cannot control, leave it to the GOD.

How do you measure a good life? Is it a good brand new car? big house, good kids? can get anything you want, yet the money is never running out? I think we all agree that all of that are not the measurement for a perfect life. The serenity of the soul is still the ultimate achievement in life.

hahaha...since yesterday in my blog entrance : living life to the fullest, i keep on talking about this philosophy of life. I must be crazy or something....:-P well, but i choose to gimme a break since today is flyday...have fun...

In the Pink of Health

Korang mesti heran pesal aku rajin sgt tulis blog sekarang. tengah siapkan presentation package ni.. tapi malas le... membebel bagus jugak. kerja/study cam korang ok le.. lepak sket ...tapi aku pun lepak jugak sebenarnya hehehe...

Today after lunch, i just walk passed by the promotion area. There was a cosmetic lady selling myriad of cosmetic there, you name it... so i just dropped by for a look.Then, suddendly the cosmetic lady asked me..."Pakai lipstik ke tak sekarang ni?" " No ...why?" i replied (hehehe...last time deen always complain cause my answer always ended with why...) "nampak natural tapi tanya ni sebab warna bibir nampak sama pink ngan tudung.." It reminds me of the English idiom, In the pink of health. May be i looked healthy today, eventhough i didn't really feel it, thats why my lips look as pink as my tudung.Hmmm... now i know where the idiom comes from. When you are healthy , your face will glow and radiant.Unlike when you're sick you look so pale and dull.Tapi betul ke aku healty sebab aku rasa ngantuk dan tidak bermaya giler sekarang ni...?

Huh apa aku membebel nih... i better stop here and try to finish the presentation and get some sleep to stay in the pink of health for the rest of my life... see yaa...till next time , have fun and bye

P/s: did u guys know that this blog is shared by 5 special people in my life. If you get the updates of my blog, it means that you are one of them..

Up and Down

Hi guys... it's me again.last night i have a conversation with Alani, and somehow i feel a litle bit down after that.Remember when i once wrote "The distance between hapiness and torment is just a blink of the eye". In some cases it's true. Whether we are ready or not, we have to face it, once a tragedy struck.

The way alani's class seating arrangement it by exam result. So for this year because in standard 1 she got no 2 in the class, she sit together with those who get no 1 and no 3, Joshua and Ruelle Rajah (hope the spelling is correct), sandwiches between 2 of them. The 3 of them become close. Ruelle is a cute handsome little boy.According to alani, is a result of mix-parental, mum is english and dad is indian.Last nite she said,

" mama, Ruelle cannot come to school anymore, cikgu cakap darah putih dia banyak, kena duk kat hospital 2 tahun".

Hmmm...it's leukimia...Alani said it has been a month since he was admitted to hospital. Then she said,
"Mama, Ruelle tak boleh jalan lagi, somebody need to lift him if he wants to move" I feel down...i think most parent will. I just cannot imagine how his parent feel at that time.It reminds me of a dear friend, Asmah, who passed away due to leukimia when we was in standard 3.

This morning Alani asked me what is leukimia..and i explain to her properly.She asked me, why Ruelle's body release the white blood wrongly, why his white blood attacked his red blod... huh...have to explain to he in detail using the police and crook concept...hahaha... but i think she understand it. But i said to her...it's ok ...many people will recover from the disease...you dont worry so much. But she said...does it mean some people will die? I said, now the doctor is very clever... they know how to fix it.

To those to know and love Ruelle, if you, by any chance read this blog, our pray will always be with you and we hope that Ruelle will get well very soon, so the place next to Alani will not be empty for long. She already missed him.

Hmmm..this life...prepared or unprepared ...we have to face it...it's good if you can turn the torment into blessing...but is that so easy?

A quote from a friend... think about it

“Bila Allah cepat makbulkan Doamu, Maka DIA Menyayangimu, Bila DIA Lambat Makbulkan doamu, Maka DIA Ingin Mengujimu, Bila DIA Tidak Makbulkan Doamu, Maka Dia Merancang Sesuatu Yang lebih Baik Untukmu. Oleh itu, Sentiasalah Bersangka Baik Pada ALLAH Dalam Apa Jua Keadaan Pun, Kerana Kasih sayang ALLAH Itu Mendahului KemurkaanNya."

*** *** ***

Janji yang paling sukar tetapi paling perlu ditunaikan ialah janji kepada diri sendiri

Even the silence is comfortable

somewhere along the quest for hapiness we tend to forget and defy the original purpose of life.the path deviated and we start to lose control of our direction. What is the purpose of living? and life? Do we still remember that We're here to serve our creator.Life is a transition and nothing last forever.

Apa aku membebel nih?...Anyway..rasa nak menulis tapi tak tahu nak tulis apa... problem jugak ni...i'm still not sleepy...the kids and their baba already sound asleep.

It's just feel like yesterday when i just met deen...Yet 12 years has passed since then.My cubicle mate once said, when you feel life is short, it means that you are really happy and enjoy your life. Hmmm... it could be true.I've read a quote in a hallmark card years ago, more or less it goes like this (its actually a poem but i prose it la... cannot really remember). It says that you know that you are really compatible with someone when even the silence is comfortable.I could not agree more... hehehe... i still remember i have one friend, quite close , but not really a best friend.Few things make us close like, room close to each other, we took same classes, same ko-k.. emmm.. things like that.But true enough whenever i was around her i feel that i need to talk, even bullshit, to sooth the air, just to make us comfortable. and yeppp... our friendship did not last long...and of course now we have lost contact for years...hahaha...friendship with her was something that i really cannot treasure...it's kind of s*ck and sickening...oooppssss...:-)

aYoYo my blog entry today is really a trash le... I want to write something that signify yesterdays date... 14/7 ..as 14/7/96 was nthe first time me and deen went out together... but really got a mental block la today....and 17/7/99 is our bersanding day...looks like july is a good month for me...eh..wait ... except for one thing, my last date with my ex-bf was also in july 1995...(FYI i just have i ex-bf before my husband...budak baik le aku ni) .

but i guess i cannot write anything nice laaa... hmmm...really stuck le.. my brain jam le tonite.May be lack of DHA...hahaha...

Nevermind lah... since i really2 cannot write something poetic or romantic to my hubby i just want to let him know that I LOVE HIM SO MUCH...Now , then and forever.Thank you so much for believing and make me believe that i'm special in my own way.

To Deen,
With u even the silence is comfortable.