Even the silence is comfortable

somewhere along the quest for hapiness we tend to forget and defy the original purpose of life.the path deviated and we start to lose control of our direction. What is the purpose of living? and life? Do we still remember that We're here to serve our creator.Life is a transition and nothing last forever.

Apa aku membebel nih?...Anyway..rasa nak menulis tapi tak tahu nak tulis apa... problem jugak ni...i'm still not sleepy...the kids and their baba already sound asleep.

It's just feel like yesterday when i just met deen...Yet 12 years has passed since then.My cubicle mate once said, when you feel life is short, it means that you are really happy and enjoy your life. Hmmm... it could be true.I've read a quote in a hallmark card years ago, more or less it goes like this (its actually a poem but i prose it la... cannot really remember). It says that you know that you are really compatible with someone when even the silence is comfortable.I could not agree more... hehehe... i still remember i have one friend, quite close , but not really a best friend.Few things make us close like, room close to each other, we took same classes, same ko-k.. emmm.. things like that.But true enough whenever i was around her i feel that i need to talk, even bullshit, to sooth the air, just to make us comfortable. and yeppp... our friendship did not last long...and of course now we have lost contact for years...hahaha...friendship with her was something that i really cannot treasure...it's kind of s*ck and sickening...oooppssss...:-)

aYoYo my blog entry today is really a trash le... I want to write something that signify yesterdays date... 14/7 ..as 14/7/96 was nthe first time me and deen went out together... but really got a mental block la today....and 17/7/99 is our bersanding day...looks like july is a good month for me...eh..wait ... except for one thing, my last date with my ex-bf was also in july 1995...(FYI i just have i ex-bf before my husband...budak baik le aku ni) .

but i guess i cannot write anything nice laaa... hmmm...really stuck le.. my brain jam le tonite.May be lack of DHA...hahaha...

Nevermind lah... since i really2 cannot write something poetic or romantic to my hubby i just want to let him know that I LOVE HIM SO MUCH...Now , then and forever.Thank you so much for believing and make me believe that i'm special in my own way.

To Deen,
With u even the silence is comfortable.

Give what it takes

There are points in life when we feel that we are cornered between choices and do not know what to do.It is true that we don't know what to do or we just try to keep on think of that because we know that the right choice is not the one we really favor? Deep in our heart we know that we should pick the right decision , it's just that we don't have enough courage to go through it.

so , "I dont know what to do" itself in the case is just an escape. We are hiding, avoiding, refusing and denying to do what we should do. If the line is clear, the right and wrong is properly determined, why it is so hard to give what it takes? and what it takes to just do the right move is only determination. Do what it takes to redirect you to your preference and never let regret be around you.

Pantai Bersih

The first and last time i went to pantai bersih was about 15 years back when i was 18. We visited one of my friend's auntie who stayed at one of the flats there (cannot recall which one). So many things has change since the Lebuhraya lingkaran luar butterworh took over the original beach. Now the new beach is located along the highway.Plus has done such a good job in making the place such a nice and convience spot for recreation.It's quite hard to find a beach with a rinsing shower..:). A few snapshot of the kids at pantai robina today.

It's the anniversary again and this time is 9th

Have I told you lately that I love you
-Rod Stewart
MID format

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

For the morning sun and all its glory
Meets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter, somehow you make it better
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

There's a love that's defined
And it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

There's a love that's defined And it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one

And have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do
Take away all my sadness, fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do
Take away all my sadness, fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do



9th Wedding Anniversary

It has been almost a month since our 9th anniversary and yet only now i just found some energy and time to put it in words.I still remember what i've wrote in one of my diaries during my teenage years: Happiness is not just counting years, but how we treasure every moment together in the most special and meaningful way.

I do treasure my life with Deen (and the kids). There would be no life better than the life around this speacial people.Years of togetherness and tenderness is the happiest time in my entire life. For that , I am gratefull that Allah bless me and my life with this happiness.

To remember the special date, we just spent a quiet evening together and have a quiet dinner , just the five of us.

KL Again

KL is never be my favorite place. I feel suffocated and drown everytime i went to KL but due to some reason I HAVE to go to KL last weekend. A few snapshot in KL.


KTM Heritage Hotel Lobby. An antique hotel for those who treasure history. Reasonable price with acceptable facility. Waiting for Nakano. This hotel located about 5 minutes drive(if smooth drive without jam) from our hotel



Deen and Nakano ,our friend , a Japanese on a visit to Malaysia during the teh tarik and roti canai session.




Among deens best shot, i lllove this picture and the photographer too...




Faster baba, It's hot over here, we're melting.The kids infront of KL KTM



you know? We don't have LRT in penang...not even the monorel, said kakak with the hope that Penang Monorail project will be approve by Federal Government ...hahaha...




Two ladies that i grab on the way back to penang. See how long they can survive indoor

After the rain

Hi ... i'm back again...looks like the passion start to develop again after a quite some time of hibernation period. It's like about a time back to start to examine every single leaf in your garden for a trace of bugs or grasshopers bite.Come back to my ownself and...huarggghh... sleepy..will continue some other time

Nyummy nyummy barbados cherry

Oh gosh.... it has been almost a year since the last time i update this blog. Busy with life, busy with Ceri barbados ni memang best..rasa excited nak tanam sebab rupanya yang sebijik ngan ceri yang kita selalu guna nak buat kek tu. It's some kind of good feeling when you can grow something that you can see in the supermarket rack in ur garden. Ni dia gambar ceri barbados tu. kalau nak tengok maklumat tentang ceri barbados ni ada aku update kat melur.com:

http://www.melur.com/myherba.asp?plant_id=277&cat=HERBA

The sand, the sea and the sky (with the cloud)

we took last friday off and went back to my hometown in Kelantan.Picture below taken with my RAZR V3X handphone and among the best in my collection. Location of the picture: Pantai Sri Tujuh,Tumpat kelantan.Time taken +- 6 pm.



Going back to my hometown where the life started bring back all memories of old vows, where i promise to myself to be a good child...who would always put my parents on top of any priority list. It's not difficult when you're alone, but it's getting tougher when you have to divide yourself between your parents and your own family.I wish i can spend more time with them, always be around when they need me and fullfill their little wish.I wish my wish will come true one day, before it's too late, cause it's painful just to let this wish turn into regret.

Sail, Dont Drift

There are times in life when i feel that i just want to close my eyes and let everything happen by itself without doing anything. Just close my eyes and let the current drift me to wherever the river flow. Just let whatever happened happen. No energy to try to fix it.No desire to hope. No zest to live... hahaha...sounds like symptoms of depression?... I hope not.

But i know i can't. In life we cannot let ourselve drift. Else we will never reach the destination. Whether the energy level is low or high we must force ourselve to sail.


life comes fully pack with its own indicator. Have u ever notice that sometime u feel that the days seems brighter eventhough the weather is still the same. The grass is greener and the birds chip sounds clearer in your ears than usual? Well... its indicate that you are happy and appreciate life more.



A few snapshot of the blooming buds in my garden yesterday, when i feel the colors of the flowers are more vibrant than usual...:). For those people around me especially family and friends , who make me happy... a million of thanks for coloring my life.

Just now we spent our evening watching movie in HBO - Musics and lyrics... Yes...it's a romantic movie, not our usual choice as Deen normally favour action movie and for me myself it's either horror movie or heavy drama.I'm not a good movie reviewer so you guys better get the info from the official website at : Music and Lyrics . A dialougue between Sophie and her sister Rhonda , catch my ear, which to me is absolutely true.Sophie asked her sister, how can we know when somebody is truly deeply in love with us? Rhonda's answer is : You can know from the way he look at you, the way he touch you , and from everything he did for you..." hahahaha...That's logical, and that's could be the main reason i married Deen. Because i know that he is deeply and truly love me.

Love in a pomelo

I saw pomelo(limau bali/limau tambun), botanical name : citrus grandis/Citrus maxima Merr, this morning at the wet market.It reminds me back of the old memories when i was still studying.My husband studied in USM kampus cawangan Perak, which last time located at Tronoh, about 35 KM from ipoh.Since limau bali was first brought to Malaysia by sir hugh low in late 1800 and was first planted in Perak, you can find limau bali almost anywhere in Ipoh.He used to visit me in Penang on bi-weekly basis... hahaha...as his rotu training also on bi-weekly basis.Week without training was penang week.the routine then change to weekly on our final year as there's no more ROTU training for him.I cannot really remember , but he said i told him pomelo was one of my favorite fruit, well i still do now...so he bought it, everytime he visited me.Then, I became pomelo supplier for my friends... they would know that my room will never run out of pomelo. I still remember one day, i said to deen..alamak...limau lagi... yang dua minggu lepas pun ada lagi kering kat bilik aku... hahaha, but he still bring it until we both finish study in 1998.

One thing i really salute my husband is he is a man of action. He's the one to show me practically that action speaks louder than word.We save our saliva and dont have to convince other people with words when action execute the task better.He made me laugh during the most difficult time in my life.He lift my spirit up when i lied down flat and lifeless.He woke me up when i just hope that i can sleep and never wake up forever.

Me and my husband, we begin as a close friend for more than a year,dating for 2 years before shield it with the marriage in early 1999.I still remember how happy and excited he was when i agree to be his girlfriend. He said to me, the longest to be away from you should not be more than 2 weeks.I said : dont joke around, how can you say that when you are hundred of KMs away. But he did that, without fail, rain or shine for almost 2 years, leaving him broke, penniless and bankrupt every end of the semester...eventhough his scholarship had a slightly bigger amount than the rest of us and ROTU training also gave him quite a handsome figure....Well, however , i guess it's a well worth and well paid sacrifice...:). still remember, all those years , when he force me to say that i will love him forever.I always refused to say that..and the conversation always ended up with quarel, sometime for a few days.Then one day he ask me.. why i dont want to say that.."Because it's bullshit!..." i replied bluntly...He looked at me in disbelief.

"How can you say forever when you are not certain about what will happen next? not even tomorrow or a minute after i say this...?" i continued.

But now i realize that when we say forever ,it is not because we are so certain about what is going to happen, but it's more on what you hope to happen. It's all about hope and wish.Deen, if you ask now, without doubt i will say , I loved you then, I love you now and i will love you forever...

DEAREST HUBBY: Thanks for all the pomelos,and all love, care and tenderness embeded in it. But most of all thanks for loving me the way i am...I will always love you till end of time.