Food of The soul

Let me share with you one story that i've read many years back. It came from a book: Chickensoup for the gardeners soul. The title was: Iva mae's birthday. The writer told about a friend name iva mae who was so poor and not even have enough to live. They're living at the prewar era and poor people were everywhere at that time. so one day iva mae invited her classmates, including the writer for her birthday party.they're so excited but when they reached iva mae's house, her mother was so shocked as se's not aware about the birthday party. she dont even realized that the day was her daughters birthday.

But to cover the things up, she start to bring out all food that they store for the winter and have a simple party for the girls. They're having so much fun.

Later, iva mae's mother bring them to the garden. inside the garden there were a bed that used to grow a flower, Zinnia, instead of vegetable and crops.So the write asked ivae may why her mother wasted the space by growing zinnia while at the same time she could used the space to grow food. Iva mae's answer to the question keep on dwelling in my head till now everytime i remember this story. She said my mom said, ooo... that one is the food to our soul.

Birthday on the birth day

This year i'm celebrating my birthday on my born day which is thursday. Every week when thursday come, it always bring a litle lit of lite to my day, perhaps because thursday is the first day i start my journey in this world. So this year is gonna be my 34th year here ( dunno how many left?).

An Endless Quest- to kalimantan, Indonesia

It has been close to a month since my last posting.Many things happen in this 3 weeks. The best thing was the amount time spent with my love ones.for 2 weeks we did almost everything together and we really treasure and enjoy the togetherness. This year we celebrate Aidilfitri in KK. Sedih jugak...bila x beraya dengan parent kita, esp when early morning before we went to solat raya, i called my parent and notice a different in my father's voice... just try not to cry too very hard...hehehe...betul ke org kata aku ni anak ayah?

a week after raya we went to Tarakan , Deens mother's hometown. A small but develop island with big population.we spent 1 day in Bulungan(at the mainland) to visit relative there. As usual, new thing make me excited. I did enjoy the trip. Except to hear everybody talking about claiming back the wealth...and all those sort of money thing made me dizzy. but hmmmppp...im just an outsider...tadah dengar jer lah...
may be because i'm not from a royal family, this royal talk, title ... is nothing to me. For me royal or commoners, our blood is still red (except for mahsuri , hehehhe). towrds the end what is actually count is ...really sleepy have to sleep first..continue later

looks like i only manage to continue this post 2 years later...heheheh... after digging my old posting i found this entrance and notice that i did not share any story about out trip to pulau tarakan , Indonesia.by this time ive went there twice ...I will try to write something eventhough some of the memories has slip from my mind... 2 years man...what do you expect?

Today is 25th day of fasting. Last night i have a dream, old and repeated dream, keep me awake in the middle of the night.The good thing was i woke up early for sahur....There must be a good reason for a thing to happen. There will come a time when we can always look back gratefully...without hesitation

Tapi yang ni paling best..

untuk husband yang tersayang, bagi poem ni sebagai jawapan kat dia... hahaha..

Antara Musim

i
Ketika musim mengorak warna
merah mendung berlalu
melakarkan untaian sepi
yang terkubur ketika angin salju
mencuri masuk melalui jendela

Kalimah mengungkapkan erti
tersirat di antara
pautan hati yang berderai
mengalirkan darah tanpa warna

kata termetri lagi
antara sangsi dan percaya
sering rasa pun pecah
mengundang curiga dan keliru

Bukan tidak mahu
menoktah kata dan mengikat setia
dengan hadirmu
berulangkali kukatakan
hati sering berdetak
dengan rentak sumbang
yang memercikkan curiga
kala hatiku kau sapa
debar pun memuncak
menanti kata
yang telah kehilangan makna....



ii
Di antara susunan puspa
mekar mengolah warna
mencorakkan batas ilusi
menggali dan mengambus mimpi
hati tersinggah di sini
kala musim semi
mendinginkan panas mentari
menghangatkan embun di hujung rumput

Dititik noktah ini
kuberikan padamu hatiku, hidupku dan jiwaku
untuk kau lorekkan dengan warna pilihanmu
yang ku pinta hanyalah rentetan perjalanan
menuju sebuah inderaloka impian
membuahkan cinta

Di sini rasa keras telah menepi
terimalah sekeping hati.....

julai 96

it's friday again

It's friday again dan seperti biasa la x de mood nak wat keja la hari ni.semalam selongkar selongkar webpage lama terjumpa poem yang aku tulis 13 years back. agaknya time frust kot masa ni ...hahahaha...sekarang ni kalau suh tulis benda macam ni sepuluh hari pun x boleh tulis lagi ni...deen kata otak dah jadi otak teknikal dah , x leh nak jiwang2 lagi.

Di dalam hujan di bukit ini
Mendung menutup cerah
Titis hujan menutup ceria
didalam hujan dibukit ini
hati hilang meriahnya
Redup bertampung
Memecah derita


Bersama titis hujan di bukit ini
Tidak pernah pula aku
Aku cuba menyongsong curiga
Menongkah setia
Menconteng keriangan
Memupuk benih suram
Pada cintamu


Dibukit ini bersama hujan
Aku kehilangan..............
Cuba mencari dimana punca
Hingga cinta pudar warnanya.

Julai 95

The most beautiful things

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart.
-Helen Keller
US blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)

Ramadan 1429

Today is the 3rd day of Ramadan. We're spending the nite here in Penang as the bridge was so damned jammed last nite.The kids raised early , masa sahur lagi semua dah bangun.sejuknya kat rumah ni...rasa macam ngeri je nak mandi as we havent install the water heater yet... hmmm... this weekend nak kena korek balik water heater tu kat dlm stor...cha yang suka mandi pun tak nak mandi pagi kat sini.our house is facing the hill...sekali angin datang memang sejuk sangat.

This ramadan..reminds me of so many things... so many memories...but i just hope this Ramadhan, my pray will be answered like the previous 2 Ramadhan, Insyaallah.It's about time to realize how lucky i am, blessed with a good life and good people around me.

p/s: teringat satu article yang aku baca last few days by one of our famaous local writer/motivator : bila suara hati kita didengari oleh pasangan kita, it means that our mind is so much synchronize. hmmm...looks like my mind and deens is so much synchronize now... hahaha...

pagi yang suram

Boring giloss hari ni...dah le jumaat...banyaknya menda yang x buat lagi.pagi2 pulak kakak buat hal...mendidihkan darah aku je... hantar gi nursery tak nak nak salam pulak tu..siap dia ptg ni...aku dah cakap kat deen dalam keta tadi...petang nanti bagi budak tu cukup2..hehehe...siap la kakak.puncanya aku suruh semayang subuh...dia kata " mama ni kalau tak suruh boleh tak?..kalau mama x suruh pun kakak solat nya....." pastu buat le muka kelat dia tu...tak nak jawab , tak nak cakap... amboi-amboi.....

tapi nasib baik aku dengar lagu ni dlam keta tadi... hehehe...aku tahu aku dah pernah tulis lagu ni dulu...tapi nak letak lagi sekali jugak...

CINTA -MELLY GOESLOW FT KRIS DAYANTI

Menatap jalan yang menjauh
Tentukan arah yang ku mau
Tempatkan aku pada satu
Peristiwa yang membuat hati lara

Di dekat engkau aku tenang
Sendu matamu penuh tanya
Misteri hidup akan kah menghilang
Dan bahagia di akhir cerita

Cinta tegarkan hatiku
Tak mau sesuatu merenggut engkau
Naluriku berkata
Tak ingin terulang lagi
Kehilangan cinta hati
Bagai raga tak bernyawa

Aku junjung petuamu
Cintai dia yang mencintaiku
Hati yang dulu belayar
Kini telah menepi
Bukankah hidup kita
Akhirnya harus bahagia

Cinta
Biar saja ada
Yang terjadi biar saja terjadi
Bagaimanapun hidup
Memang hanya cerita
Cerita tentang meninggalkan dan yang ditinggalkan
Cinta…..


p/s: dua hari lepas tengok gambar2 lama masa sekolah dan kat u dulu. punyala nerd muka aku masa tu...stoikkk je...stone giler...nasib baik deen suka kat aku dulu walaupun huduh giler..kalau tak... tak kawin sampai sekarang gamaknya aku nih...muahaaahhahaha....

fabricating sequence of events

sometimes , event without noticing it, we're creating a sequence of events in our life. We know that if we do this it will lead to that and those.Everything that we do will have its own cause and effect.it's something like.... if you are really reluctant to do something but we know there are things that we can do which in the end will force us to do what we're not willing to do. We are fabricating the sequence of events...i guess i did that sometimes... when it's really hard to persuade myself to just to what i'm supposed to do.

By the way, kakak manage to beat Joshua in the last test. But still cannot get no 1 cos there's another boy who get no 1. May be no 2 is the farthest she can go... hahaha...but at least her confident level boost up this time, cos all this while she always feel that joshua is unbeatable.

***lizzy lazy***

hussh... thank god this week end at last. This is the most difficult week for me...cant wait for tomorrow.i spend today, leisurely preparing my project show off package...and listening to kopratasa's album (boss on honeymoon beb...)

Buku muka

Guys.... those from SMT last time... i've created a group in facebook to gather all of us. let's join us and make it happen....

SMT Group

Serenity of the soul

this morning when i sent Alani to her school, i stumbled with a limp girl, infact badly limp, it's so obvious, i can see her one leg is obviously shorter than another.She's walking to the table and have a quiet breakfast alone.Suddenly i felt a pinch in my heart. Life must be very hard for her, especially in primary school, Where kids at that age normally hard to understand. Even a small defect can put you to be the center of humiliation.I hope she will be strong.Environment and people around us act like a mould , carve us into any shape we prefer to be.Making us who we are.Eventhough many things are beyond our control, when we are matured enough , we found that life is actually in our control. Certain things that we cannot control, leave it to the GOD.

How do you measure a good life? Is it a good brand new car? big house, good kids? can get anything you want, yet the money is never running out? I think we all agree that all of that are not the measurement for a perfect life. The serenity of the soul is still the ultimate achievement in life.

hahaha...since yesterday in my blog entrance : living life to the fullest, i keep on talking about this philosophy of life. I must be crazy or something....:-P well, but i choose to gimme a break since today is flyday...have fun...

In the Pink of Health

Korang mesti heran pesal aku rajin sgt tulis blog sekarang. tengah siapkan presentation package ni.. tapi malas le... membebel bagus jugak. kerja/study cam korang ok le.. lepak sket ...tapi aku pun lepak jugak sebenarnya hehehe...

Today after lunch, i just walk passed by the promotion area. There was a cosmetic lady selling myriad of cosmetic there, you name it... so i just dropped by for a look.Then, suddendly the cosmetic lady asked me..."Pakai lipstik ke tak sekarang ni?" " No ...why?" i replied (hehehe...last time deen always complain cause my answer always ended with why...) "nampak natural tapi tanya ni sebab warna bibir nampak sama pink ngan tudung.." It reminds me of the English idiom, In the pink of health. May be i looked healthy today, eventhough i didn't really feel it, thats why my lips look as pink as my tudung.Hmmm... now i know where the idiom comes from. When you are healthy , your face will glow and radiant.Unlike when you're sick you look so pale and dull.Tapi betul ke aku healty sebab aku rasa ngantuk dan tidak bermaya giler sekarang ni...?

Huh apa aku membebel nih... i better stop here and try to finish the presentation and get some sleep to stay in the pink of health for the rest of my life... see yaa...till next time , have fun and bye

P/s: did u guys know that this blog is shared by 5 special people in my life. If you get the updates of my blog, it means that you are one of them..

Up and Down

Hi guys... it's me again.last night i have a conversation with Alani, and somehow i feel a litle bit down after that.Remember when i once wrote "The distance between hapiness and torment is just a blink of the eye". In some cases it's true. Whether we are ready or not, we have to face it, once a tragedy struck.

The way alani's class seating arrangement it by exam result. So for this year because in standard 1 she got no 2 in the class, she sit together with those who get no 1 and no 3, Joshua and Ruelle Rajah (hope the spelling is correct), sandwiches between 2 of them. The 3 of them become close. Ruelle is a cute handsome little boy.According to alani, is a result of mix-parental, mum is english and dad is indian.Last nite she said,

" mama, Ruelle cannot come to school anymore, cikgu cakap darah putih dia banyak, kena duk kat hospital 2 tahun".

Hmmm...it's leukimia...Alani said it has been a month since he was admitted to hospital. Then she said,
"Mama, Ruelle tak boleh jalan lagi, somebody need to lift him if he wants to move" I feel down...i think most parent will. I just cannot imagine how his parent feel at that time.It reminds me of a dear friend, Asmah, who passed away due to leukimia when we was in standard 3.

This morning Alani asked me what is leukimia..and i explain to her properly.She asked me, why Ruelle's body release the white blood wrongly, why his white blood attacked his red blod... huh...have to explain to he in detail using the police and crook concept...hahaha... but i think she understand it. But i said to her...it's ok ...many people will recover from the disease...you dont worry so much. But she said...does it mean some people will die? I said, now the doctor is very clever... they know how to fix it.

To those to know and love Ruelle, if you, by any chance read this blog, our pray will always be with you and we hope that Ruelle will get well very soon, so the place next to Alani will not be empty for long. She already missed him.

Hmmm..this life...prepared or unprepared ...we have to face it...it's good if you can turn the torment into blessing...but is that so easy?

A quote from a friend... think about it

“Bila Allah cepat makbulkan Doamu, Maka DIA Menyayangimu, Bila DIA Lambat Makbulkan doamu, Maka DIA Ingin Mengujimu, Bila DIA Tidak Makbulkan Doamu, Maka Dia Merancang Sesuatu Yang lebih Baik Untukmu. Oleh itu, Sentiasalah Bersangka Baik Pada ALLAH Dalam Apa Jua Keadaan Pun, Kerana Kasih sayang ALLAH Itu Mendahului KemurkaanNya."

*** *** ***

Janji yang paling sukar tetapi paling perlu ditunaikan ialah janji kepada diri sendiri

Even the silence is comfortable

somewhere along the quest for hapiness we tend to forget and defy the original purpose of life.the path deviated and we start to lose control of our direction. What is the purpose of living? and life? Do we still remember that We're here to serve our creator.Life is a transition and nothing last forever.

Apa aku membebel nih?...Anyway..rasa nak menulis tapi tak tahu nak tulis apa... problem jugak ni...i'm still not sleepy...the kids and their baba already sound asleep.

It's just feel like yesterday when i just met deen...Yet 12 years has passed since then.My cubicle mate once said, when you feel life is short, it means that you are really happy and enjoy your life. Hmmm... it could be true.I've read a quote in a hallmark card years ago, more or less it goes like this (its actually a poem but i prose it la... cannot really remember). It says that you know that you are really compatible with someone when even the silence is comfortable.I could not agree more... hehehe... i still remember i have one friend, quite close , but not really a best friend.Few things make us close like, room close to each other, we took same classes, same ko-k.. emmm.. things like that.But true enough whenever i was around her i feel that i need to talk, even bullshit, to sooth the air, just to make us comfortable. and yeppp... our friendship did not last long...and of course now we have lost contact for years...hahaha...friendship with her was something that i really cannot treasure...it's kind of s*ck and sickening...oooppssss...:-)

aYoYo my blog entry today is really a trash le... I want to write something that signify yesterdays date... 14/7 ..as 14/7/96 was nthe first time me and deen went out together... but really got a mental block la today....and 17/7/99 is our bersanding day...looks like july is a good month for me...eh..wait ... except for one thing, my last date with my ex-bf was also in july 1995...(FYI i just have i ex-bf before my husband...budak baik le aku ni) .

but i guess i cannot write anything nice laaa... hmmm...really stuck le.. my brain jam le tonite.May be lack of DHA...hahaha...

Nevermind lah... since i really2 cannot write something poetic or romantic to my hubby i just want to let him know that I LOVE HIM SO MUCH...Now , then and forever.Thank you so much for believing and make me believe that i'm special in my own way.

To Deen,
With u even the silence is comfortable.

Give what it takes

There are points in life when we feel that we are cornered between choices and do not know what to do.It is true that we don't know what to do or we just try to keep on think of that because we know that the right choice is not the one we really favor? Deep in our heart we know that we should pick the right decision , it's just that we don't have enough courage to go through it.

so , "I dont know what to do" itself in the case is just an escape. We are hiding, avoiding, refusing and denying to do what we should do. If the line is clear, the right and wrong is properly determined, why it is so hard to give what it takes? and what it takes to just do the right move is only determination. Do what it takes to redirect you to your preference and never let regret be around you.

Pantai Bersih

The first and last time i went to pantai bersih was about 15 years back when i was 18. We visited one of my friend's auntie who stayed at one of the flats there (cannot recall which one). So many things has change since the Lebuhraya lingkaran luar butterworh took over the original beach. Now the new beach is located along the highway.Plus has done such a good job in making the place such a nice and convience spot for recreation.It's quite hard to find a beach with a rinsing shower..:). A few snapshot of the kids at pantai robina today.

It's the anniversary again and this time is 9th

Have I told you lately that I love you
-Rod Stewart
MID format

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

For the morning sun and all its glory
Meets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter, somehow you make it better
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

There's a love that's defined
And it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

There's a love that's defined And it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one

And have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do
Take away all my sadness, fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do
Take away all my sadness, fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do



9th Wedding Anniversary

It has been almost a month since our 9th anniversary and yet only now i just found some energy and time to put it in words.I still remember what i've wrote in one of my diaries during my teenage years: Happiness is not just counting years, but how we treasure every moment together in the most special and meaningful way.

I do treasure my life with Deen (and the kids). There would be no life better than the life around this speacial people.Years of togetherness and tenderness is the happiest time in my entire life. For that , I am gratefull that Allah bless me and my life with this happiness.

To remember the special date, we just spent a quiet evening together and have a quiet dinner , just the five of us.

KL Again

KL is never be my favorite place. I feel suffocated and drown everytime i went to KL but due to some reason I HAVE to go to KL last weekend. A few snapshot in KL.


KTM Heritage Hotel Lobby. An antique hotel for those who treasure history. Reasonable price with acceptable facility. Waiting for Nakano. This hotel located about 5 minutes drive(if smooth drive without jam) from our hotel



Deen and Nakano ,our friend , a Japanese on a visit to Malaysia during the teh tarik and roti canai session.




Among deens best shot, i lllove this picture and the photographer too...




Faster baba, It's hot over here, we're melting.The kids infront of KL KTM



you know? We don't have LRT in penang...not even the monorel, said kakak with the hope that Penang Monorail project will be approve by Federal Government ...hahaha...




Two ladies that i grab on the way back to penang. See how long they can survive indoor

After the rain

Hi ... i'm back again...looks like the passion start to develop again after a quite some time of hibernation period. It's like about a time back to start to examine every single leaf in your garden for a trace of bugs or grasshopers bite.Come back to my ownself and...huarggghh... sleepy..will continue some other time

Nyummy nyummy barbados cherry

Oh gosh.... it has been almost a year since the last time i update this blog. Busy with life, busy with Ceri barbados ni memang best..rasa excited nak tanam sebab rupanya yang sebijik ngan ceri yang kita selalu guna nak buat kek tu. It's some kind of good feeling when you can grow something that you can see in the supermarket rack in ur garden. Ni dia gambar ceri barbados tu. kalau nak tengok maklumat tentang ceri barbados ni ada aku update kat melur.com:

http://www.melur.com/myherba.asp?plant_id=277&cat=HERBA

The sand, the sea and the sky (with the cloud)

we took last friday off and went back to my hometown in Kelantan.Picture below taken with my RAZR V3X handphone and among the best in my collection. Location of the picture: Pantai Sri Tujuh,Tumpat kelantan.Time taken +- 6 pm.



Going back to my hometown where the life started bring back all memories of old vows, where i promise to myself to be a good child...who would always put my parents on top of any priority list. It's not difficult when you're alone, but it's getting tougher when you have to divide yourself between your parents and your own family.I wish i can spend more time with them, always be around when they need me and fullfill their little wish.I wish my wish will come true one day, before it's too late, cause it's painful just to let this wish turn into regret.

Sail, Dont Drift

There are times in life when i feel that i just want to close my eyes and let everything happen by itself without doing anything. Just close my eyes and let the current drift me to wherever the river flow. Just let whatever happened happen. No energy to try to fix it.No desire to hope. No zest to live... hahaha...sounds like symptoms of depression?... I hope not.

But i know i can't. In life we cannot let ourselve drift. Else we will never reach the destination. Whether the energy level is low or high we must force ourselve to sail.


life comes fully pack with its own indicator. Have u ever notice that sometime u feel that the days seems brighter eventhough the weather is still the same. The grass is greener and the birds chip sounds clearer in your ears than usual? Well... its indicate that you are happy and appreciate life more.



A few snapshot of the blooming buds in my garden yesterday, when i feel the colors of the flowers are more vibrant than usual...:). For those people around me especially family and friends , who make me happy... a million of thanks for coloring my life.

Just now we spent our evening watching movie in HBO - Musics and lyrics... Yes...it's a romantic movie, not our usual choice as Deen normally favour action movie and for me myself it's either horror movie or heavy drama.I'm not a good movie reviewer so you guys better get the info from the official website at : Music and Lyrics . A dialougue between Sophie and her sister Rhonda , catch my ear, which to me is absolutely true.Sophie asked her sister, how can we know when somebody is truly deeply in love with us? Rhonda's answer is : You can know from the way he look at you, the way he touch you , and from everything he did for you..." hahahaha...That's logical, and that's could be the main reason i married Deen. Because i know that he is deeply and truly love me.

Love in a pomelo

I saw pomelo(limau bali/limau tambun), botanical name : citrus grandis/Citrus maxima Merr, this morning at the wet market.It reminds me back of the old memories when i was still studying.My husband studied in USM kampus cawangan Perak, which last time located at Tronoh, about 35 KM from ipoh.Since limau bali was first brought to Malaysia by sir hugh low in late 1800 and was first planted in Perak, you can find limau bali almost anywhere in Ipoh.He used to visit me in Penang on bi-weekly basis... hahaha...as his rotu training also on bi-weekly basis.Week without training was penang week.the routine then change to weekly on our final year as there's no more ROTU training for him.I cannot really remember , but he said i told him pomelo was one of my favorite fruit, well i still do now...so he bought it, everytime he visited me.Then, I became pomelo supplier for my friends... they would know that my room will never run out of pomelo. I still remember one day, i said to deen..alamak...limau lagi... yang dua minggu lepas pun ada lagi kering kat bilik aku... hahaha, but he still bring it until we both finish study in 1998.

One thing i really salute my husband is he is a man of action. He's the one to show me practically that action speaks louder than word.We save our saliva and dont have to convince other people with words when action execute the task better.He made me laugh during the most difficult time in my life.He lift my spirit up when i lied down flat and lifeless.He woke me up when i just hope that i can sleep and never wake up forever.

Me and my husband, we begin as a close friend for more than a year,dating for 2 years before shield it with the marriage in early 1999.I still remember how happy and excited he was when i agree to be his girlfriend. He said to me, the longest to be away from you should not be more than 2 weeks.I said : dont joke around, how can you say that when you are hundred of KMs away. But he did that, without fail, rain or shine for almost 2 years, leaving him broke, penniless and bankrupt every end of the semester...eventhough his scholarship had a slightly bigger amount than the rest of us and ROTU training also gave him quite a handsome figure....Well, however , i guess it's a well worth and well paid sacrifice...:). still remember, all those years , when he force me to say that i will love him forever.I always refused to say that..and the conversation always ended up with quarel, sometime for a few days.Then one day he ask me.. why i dont want to say that.."Because it's bullshit!..." i replied bluntly...He looked at me in disbelief.

"How can you say forever when you are not certain about what will happen next? not even tomorrow or a minute after i say this...?" i continued.

But now i realize that when we say forever ,it is not because we are so certain about what is going to happen, but it's more on what you hope to happen. It's all about hope and wish.Deen, if you ask now, without doubt i will say , I loved you then, I love you now and i will love you forever...

DEAREST HUBBY: Thanks for all the pomelos,and all love, care and tenderness embeded in it. But most of all thanks for loving me the way i am...I will always love you till end of time.

Mama is sorry , she was cross

When it comes to expectation, sometimes we tend forget that we are humans , with limitation.With a great expectation, lie a great responsibility.The same things happened to me last 2 days, when suddenly i became mad when my eldest , Alani show me her last exam paper.

"How could you get 66% for your pendidikan Islam ?" I yelled at her, without even glance at the paper she was holding for me, try to ask me to look through it.

"You know when i was your age, nothing start with 6, not even 7 or 8. Everything must start with 9, do you understand... 90 and above..." She just nodded.During dinner she was so quiet, so i asked her whether she's sleepy? then at one time i saw her shedding her tears.

"Are you crying?"

" no i am not..." she try to force herself to look at me straight in my eye.There's no doubt that she was crying.

somehow, yesterday, when i picked her up from the nursery, i saw her running eagerly towards me.

"Mama!!!... i got no 2 in school..." she shouted happily.

"Are you sure it's no 2 and not 22 ?" I asked sarcastically. But sarcasism never work on kids...:). Then she hold me her record book.It's lucky for her that only the 5 papers (UPSR papers) were counted for the ranking, making way for that pendidikan islam paper to be dropped from the list.

Looking at her face when she was crying made me feel guilty.For baba , this girl is so brilliant, but for me she is just so so... why i should put so great expectation on her, putting so much burden on her small and fragile shoulder. I should be more lean to her, let her do it her way. After all pressure will never works well on kids.Teachers at nursery and her friends mum keep on saying that she is so brilliant and smart, may be it's about time for me myself to look at her with the same perspective.compare to her other friends who attend tuition class after school, i should know by myself that she's doing very well without any tuition.

last nite, she ask me...mama why are you angry? are you angry because i got 66% or because i got no 2. I'm sorry that i cannot get no 1, i promise to beat joshua down next exam ...." She said, Joshua is the boy who never fail to be the best since standard 1.And my Alani, so far never success to push him down ...hahaha...that's our mission actually, so Joshua... here we come....watch out!!

so i said to her: No... no 2 is good enough,but no 1 will be the best. Yupp... i'm slightly upset with that 66% marks...but you can try harder later..." she grinned and continue to play happily with her sisters.

So my dearest Nur Iman Alani, Mama wants to say that she is sorry she was cross and she promise she will never do it again, as long as you are good...hahaha...

Visiting Mr Horton

So we declare that today is The kids movie day again. An earlier plan to go to either Kuala Sepetang or Alor Star has been postponed as everyone were in the hibernation mode in the morning.Last week, suddenly i missed my mums sambal goreng so much. It reminds me of the hardest and toughest days in my life where we eat to survive , not just to enjoy it like now.So this week my mums sambal goreng would be one of the menu for today's nasi lemak.It just happened that today deen set the Azan as a wakeup alarm, and as usual when we heard the azan, we normally felt guilty to prolong the sleep...so today i woke up on the dot, with the subuh azan.about 10, After a tummy filling mama's nasi lemak session, the kids become drowsy and go back to sleep again....hahaha...That's why we have to cancel the plan.


Before the movie....



"Do I blend well with the poster, mama?" Asked Ain Syazwani...

so...in then afternoon, we brought them to visit Mr Horton. A new released movie, Horton Hears a who. And i must admit that this story was funny , even Mama and baba enjoy it too.For me one thing special about this movie is it grab the thought that i think come across to most of our mind.When i was a kid, when i see a ant colony, i'll think, are we just another colony for a very-very big creature, the one that we cannot see because we are so tiny? even worse when i start to think something like, are we just a colony of bacteria, living in a stomach of a very-very big creature.... hahaha....for my personal rating if i am a kid... i'll give this movie 4out of 5.so guys... tag this movie as one of the special treat for your kids...



OOOhhhh... i hope this is not a scary movie...Prayed Ain Syazwani before the movie start...



Kakak and Icha paid their full attention

Gurindam Jiwa

Well.. i'm actually not a fan of clasic song, but just now while searching for other song using limewire, i stumble with this song.This is ..emm.. may be the only clasic song that i really like. The lyric goes like this:

Gurindam Jiwa

( L )
Tuailah padi antara masak
Esok jangan layu-layuan
Intailah kami antara nampak
Esok jangan rindu-rinduan

( P )
Anak cina pasang lukah
Lukah dipasang di Tanjung Jati
Di dalam hati tidak ku lupa
Sebagai rambut bersimpul mati

( korus )
( L )
Batang selasih permainan budak
Daun sehelai dimakan kuda
Bercerai kasih bertalak tidak
Seribu tahun kembali juga

( P )
Burung merpati terbang seribu
Hinggap seekor di tengah laman
( L )
Hendak mati di hujung kuku
Hendak berkubur di tapak tangan

( L & P )
Kalau tuan mudik ke hulu
Carikan saya bunga kemboja
Kalau tuan mati dahulu
Nantikan saya di pintu syurga

And i've watch the movie, with the same title. The story was about a newly married couple, Dahlia and Dahlan.Dahlan then, did something to save the village , cannot really remember what,then he was given an honor as a knight to the sultan.Dahlan have to leave the village and Dahlia in order to serve the sultan.To cut the story short, Dahlan then forgot about the promise he had made to Dahlia and married the princess.Kind of sad ending story... but that's how life normally is...:)

I never knew about this song before my childhood sweetheart wrote one of the paragraph in one of his first letters to me when i was about 18...:). I just wonder, was that a song or just a poem,until one day i heard this song. I really fall in love with the lyric and manage to write the whole song when i reply his letter....But as Dahlan and Dahlia had a sad ending, so did us...hahaha... old story... hopefully my husband will still cool when he read this... won't you , abang?

Illusion of the heart

I'm writing this entrance using Deen's new DOPOD 838 PRO. Looks cool but i'm still exploring.Look's like this PDA is going to be fully utilised by it's co-owner...hahaha.

Last weekend i went back to my hometown for election.The first time since the past 9 years i went back without my other half or the kids.

the day after the election.It's just about 7.00 am,and it's very cold in the morning at my kampung.Yupp... you're rite.... x mandi lagi masa ni.... hahaha


Photo's taken at my hometown...Chabang Empat, where i grew up.Next to me is Chabang Empat market, where when i was small dad ran a small business there , a sundry shop. I used to lepak there after school, while waiting for dad to close his shop and went back together.



Help!!!!... Mak long's room has been invaded by bottle sucking creatures from Mars...Murni Maisarah (w/o shirt) and Maya Munirah , my nieces. And below is their brother , Mirza Mustakim





picture taken infront of istana Bukit Tanah, just behind my old school.want to know more about the castle click here


My youngest sister , Rosmy Nurhamny , better known as adik has become my best buddy now...:) the youngest and the eldest.Some people could mistakenly thought she's my daughter as our age gap is 18 years...if I married at 17 , then my child will be her age, infact there're few of her classmate are actually my old friends kid.


Illusion of the heart.

What is illusion? when i google out the definition of illusion , the results are:

~An illusion is a distortion of a sensory perception, revealing how the brain normally organizes and interprets sensory stimulation. While illusions distort reality, they are generally shared by most people
Hmm... too scientific to understand unless you're a psychiatric.

How about this one:
~Illusion is An erroneous perception of reality
sounds better and easier to digest, rite?...

What is the different between love and illusion of the heart? Sometimes heart can lies...mistakenly create a false impression, measuring an illusion for love.Is the love is too strong or you just manipulating your heart and create an illusion out of the mist of confusion? If love is so strong then it should never fail to cross the barrier and defy the obstacles.If it fails... perhaps it's just an illusion of your heart.

Walking down to the memory lane

L I F E can be interpreted in various ways .... but happiness is still up to willingness( redha) to accept the destiny ...either it's really good or really bad.

Last weekend we went down to KL on some small business reason... more on family matters. Sam, Deen's younger brother is having a training in Kelana Jaya . Since the last time we met him is almost a year ago we decided to meet him up here, and visit my litle brother , Wae who's now on his preparation course at INTEC college Shah Alam before pursue his study in US.

So last night, the 7 of us (including my 3 girls ) went out for a dinner at Taman Tasik Shah Alam, at the Floating restaurant : Restoran Tasik Indah, which was not there the last time i went to the place 13 years ago.The food ..hmmm... so so...quite ok..boleh la...and the price quite fair...we spent about 100++ for the 7 of us.The view? only water in the darkness.... hahaha...

Walking back here after so many years never fail to bring me back in time.I still recognize certain places,especially the one with MPSA building at the background.Hmm.. as i review it hundreds of time and it's just stuck in my mind until now.The ding of memories, cluttered in my heart is like a ding of the loudest bell in the midle of a lonely and restless night.The broken heart, shattered dream and unfullfill wish in a shape of sharp and shiny blade, will always able to cut the fragile heart into pieces.

Blessed to find each other and found love...

A few snapshot of our journey to share....


photo taken in mid 2007... anybody notice that Alani was wearing her pant front backward....? hahaha...


2006 - Bukit Hijau waterfall.Just a few minutes after this photo was captured we found the biggest toad we've ever found here. its really big....



Dec 2007-Sedim Waterfall.Sedim was popular as a place for white water rafting.

Hapiness Is......

The song Hello (Lionel Ritchie) always bring me back in time to the early years.It always remind me how lucky and bless i am to have my hubby next by my side.We are blessed we found each other and found love...

Happiness is not a destination but the journey itself...to Deen, thanks for walk beside me along the journey and may happiness will be with us forever....

Hello - Lionel Ritchie
(enjoy the song here)

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips, a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted
My arms are open wide
Cos you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again, how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello? I've just got to let you know
Cos I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely
Or is someone loving you
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you

Hello
Is it me You're looking for?
Cos I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely
Is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying
I love you

Picture speaks a thousand words

Some pictures along the journey:



picture taken back in dec2005 at Gaya Street Tamu KK. Oh Gosh...u can find almost any thing here... you name it...Ain Syazwani was 7 months then



The basket is nice...hmmmm... but do i really need it? ...I ended up buying this basket and use it to carry my laptop for almost a year...kind of savy huh?...



Tanjung Aru Beach Dec 2005

CNY Holiday

This chinese new year holidays...like others in the past few years...we just hibernated at our home in Penang, after all plans were put to end...:). It's kind of quiet here.Today is the 2nd day i was really hibernating and the farthest that i go is the gate.so in the past 2 days what we did were cooking,eating,kaorokeing, play game on our wii, watching cinemax, hbo and AXN and cartoons for the kids...till we feel like vomitting...huarghhh...ooo.... I miss my parent so much at the time like this..so I said to Deen just now... next weekend we're going back to my hometown.


picture taken last weekend at my apartment after our visit there to check on the bathroom sippage complaint by downstair's neighbour.Since our tenant most probably will vacant the house earliest by june... we need to hold our plan to move back there until they move out.



picture taken a few weeks ago. Really forgot where it was taken but i really love to see the closeness and genuine feeling of the father and daughter in this photo.No matter what cha always know how to soften baba's heart... Wa kan anak apaaa... (cam iklan digi tu...hehehe)

Selangkah ke Alam M I S T E R I

Selangkah ke Alam Misteri: S A K A

Sekarang aku sebenarnya tengah tengok SAKA kat www.tv3.com.my ni... tapi sebab dah lepas pukul 12 mlm ni dan sorang2 kat bawah ,aku cuma berani bukak dan dengar suara je ...hahaha..lepas tu tulis blog...dengar suara je tak de seram sangat.Tengok ni pun sebab kes x de kerja ni...Dalam citer SAKA ni diorang ni apa ke benda sebenarnya... Ghost buster ke apa? Sapa yang baya gaji diorang ni sebenarnya?..Pak din tu ke?...abis tu pak din dapat duit kat mana untuk baya diorang ....hmmm...agaknya dia ni memang orang kaya yang x tau nak buat apa ngan duit dia kot hahaha...at least tu le persoalan yang menjelma kat fikiran aku masa tengok citer ni..

But the most interesting caption that i extract out from this story is : SAKA ni adalah waris tanpa rela. Hmm... it's like something that happened to my sister and my father. Bukannya diorang nak pun benda2 cam tu.But according to one of the Makcik yang mengubat adik aku, generasi aku ni dah generasi terakhir menerima saka ni sebab menurut dia la...bendalah ni jangkahayat dia lebih kurang 7 keturunan manusia. Dan daripada 3 tu cuma satu je yang masih agak kuat lagi, while another 2 could be too weak or either dead.hehehe... blog hari kiranya selangkah ke alam misteri la ek...

I have a few personal experience in dealing with this... tapi terasa agak seram sejuk nak menulis di tengah2 malam macam ni.to believe it or not, depend on u guys.. but i know it's hard to believe unless u experience it urselves.But believe it or not, that things came to me a few years back ( in my dream la...kalau datang betul mau terkencing aku), dengan marahnya bagitau aku degil sebab x nak terima dia dan memungkiri janji keturunan aku untuk menjaga dia.Dlm marah tu dia cakap kenapa dia tak dapat menguasai aku,tapi dapat menguasai adik aku..and the reason it gave is so simple...sebab aku selalu qada solat yang tertinggal dan tak pernah lupa baca bismillah masa nak makan. It could be just dream...or it could be true...but i hold to it until now.Dan benda ni juga boleh dijadikan senjata yang ampuh untuk mengusik adik-adik yang malas sembahyang...hahaha...Tapi apa-apa pun bagi aku, benda yang paling penting untuk menghindar dari syaitan terkutuk ni hanyalah iman dan amalan yang berterusan dan ikhlas kepada Allah.

But one thing i know for me la... jangan la nak buat lawak ngan benda ni. There's one time in 2004 when we first open our plan nursery. I have a hard time dealing with lazy worker yang selalu sangat curi tulang...so one day aku cakap kat hubby susah betul nak handle budak ni... then my hubby cakap: cam tu panggil hantu raya tuk nor le datang tengok-tengok kan..." memang aku marah betul kat deen masa tu. Dan malam tu memang datang dalam mimpi betul-betul suruh aku menerima khidmat dia.Sampai berpeluh-peluh menjerit tok sir..tok sir masa bangun tu (dia ni cakap kelantan ngan aku). Lepas tu aku memang bagi amaran kat deen, jangan lagi sekali-kali membuat lawak kapak cam tu lagi.my hubby ni memang suka buat lawak pasal hantu raya tuk aku ni, biasa la org bandar ni susah nak terima benda2 cam ni.Satu hari tu dia cakap, Abang selalu bayangkan muka hantu raya ni leper cam pinggan dan rambut dia kerinting.Aku gelak giler masa tu... tapi malam tu memang mimpi...kawan tu kalau datang selalu nya berjubah dan berselubung hitam dan tak nampak muka, tapi kali ni dia tanya aku , nak tahu ke macammana rupa aku? then dia ambik hulur satu lukisan kat aku...mamat dalam lukisan tu memang rupa dia cam orang dulu-dulu yang siap bertanjak dengan keris dipinggang.

okey la... since sekarang ni dah siang, boleh le aku citer... korang nak tahu tak berkenaan saka arwah Tuk aku ni.Saka dia ni berbentuk hantu raya. kalau korang nak tahu apa lagi bentuk2 saka ni tengok kat sini . Sebenarnya dragon ball ni ada 7 biji semuanya...ahaks...tak de la ...sebenarnya Hantu raya ni ada 3 ekor semuanya (betul ke penjodoh bilangan ni?). Aku sebenarnya tak boleh sebut nama-nama makhluk ni ....seremmmmm...lagipun ayah aku tak bagi sebut sebab ayah kata kalau sebut tu macam seru diorang. tapi kalau tulis oke la kot. Nama makhluk2 3 ekor ni ialah pendekar mata merah, pendekar mali abu dan pendekar raja fakir.Diorang dipanggil pendekar baju hitam oleh arwah tuk aku menurut ayah aku.Tujuan keturunan aku membela jin kafir ni ialah untuk kekuatan sebab moyang aku yang pertama membela ni adalah hulubalang istana.Menurut ayah aku juga..arwah tuk aku ni walaupun kecik saja badannya kalau bersilat takkan ada yang dapat jatuhkan dia...kuat giler. Ayah cerita malam bulan mengambang arwah tuk akan sediakan ancak untuk makhluk belaan dia ni berbentuk pulut kuning, kelapa muda dan ayam panggang. ancak ni akan diletakkan pada turus pagar. Ala kalau kita sekarang ni kat gate yang orang selalu letak lampu tu. Tapi di hujung usianya arwah tuk bertaubat dan berazam untuk membuang sakanya.Aku selalu berdoa arwah tuk mendapat penghabisan yang baik kerana beberapa tahun sebelum kematiannya dia telah meninggalkan segala amalan khurafat ini. Masa dia meninggal pun dia jatuh semasa sedang sembahyang isyak.cuma silapnya dia tidak mencari jalan yang betul untuk membuang sakanya hingga akhirnya saka tersebut mengganggu hidup ayah aku dan seterusnya adik kedua aku.Tapi kalau gangguan biasa seperti rasa bayang hitam tinggi datang dari belakang atau rasa cam nampak kelibat org tapi bila tengok x de orang,dan mimpi semua adik beradik aku kena.

Pada aku untuk mengelak saka ni dari menguasai hidup kita sebagai calon pewaris, benteng diri perlu diperteguhkan.Amalan wajib seharian seperti sembahyang lima waktu jangan sekali-kali diabaikan.Bomoh, dukun pawang dan semua tu cuma mengarut saja... jangan pulak kita nak mengelak dari satu syirik dan khurafat menyebabkan kita terjerumus ke jurang syirik yang lain.Apa yang ayah aku pesan semenjak kecil , bila hendak tidur pagarlah diri dengan 4 Qul, ayatul kursi dan Al-fatihah, jangan sekali-kali lalai dan memang aku amalkan semenjak tinggal di asrama dari form 1.Kebetulan pula, semasa penilaian darjah lima aku bernazar , kalau dapat 5A aku takkan tinggalkan sembahyang lagi.Jadi kalau ada sembahyang yang tertinggal kerana tertidur atau lupa aku akan seboleh-bolehnya qada sembayang tu.

Oleh kerana syaitan ini sentiasa mengambil peluang atas kelalaian diri kita, adik kedua aku menghadapi hidup yang sukar kerana di ganggu saka ini semenjak berumur 18 tahun lagi.Sakanya cuma dapat dibuang sepenuhnya selepas dia melahirkan anak pertama pada tahun 2004 , Alhamdulillah.

Tapi kan sebenarnya mimpi ni masih muncul dalam tidur aku hingga kini. Kali terakhir makhluk ni datang dalam mimpi menawarkan khidmat dia untuk jaga rumah aku ialah masa Deen pegi taiwan 3 bulan lepas. Berpeluh-peluh terjaga pukul 3 pagi, aku ambik wuduk, solat 2 rakaat dan baca yasin sampai subuh.Celaka betul setan ni... hahaha...

All good thing must come to the End?

Today is the last day syazwani dengan dia punya babysitter.Mak dia ni pulak yang rasa sedih semacam.But like deen said...all good thing must come to the end. Nak tak nak aku kena hantar dia kat kindy jugak since she's nearly 3 yrs old dah sekarang.Eventhough kak ani jaga dia dengan tersangat baiknya, sampai masanya kena berpisah juga...sedihnya... tak tau le apa yang kak ani rasa sebab aku nampak muka dia sayu giler tadi.

bukan senang nak cari babysitter yang betul2 sayang kat anak kita mcm anak sendiri. sepanjang close to 3 yrs menjaga syazwani dari selepas pantang, rasanya tak ada benda yang aku tak berkenan pernah dia buat.aku rasa kalau aku jaga sendiri or hantar nursery, syazwani mesti ada asthmatic problem cam syafiqa juga.... memang rasanya just terima kasih sahaja tak cukup membayangkan penghargaan aku untuk dia.And Syazwani...eventhough you will forget this moment when you grow up... one thing you must remember, she's the one who brought you up to your life ...from the beginning ( together dengan mama la....:) )

Love and infatuation

Terdengar lagu Anuar zain ni tadi...cam best je ...terus search liriknya...oleh sebab liriknya yang best ni...aku nak tujukan lagu ni untuk my dearest hubby...dengan ucapan... I'll love you...forever.....ahaks...:)

kalau korang nak dengar lagu ni boleh dengar kat sini

Anuar Zain - Ketulusan Hati

Cintaku tak berdusta
Tak mengenal ingkar
Tak kenal nestapa
Cintaku hanya indah
Hanya bahagia untuk selamanya
Apa yang kurasakan ini
Persembahan untuk dirimu
Kau biarkan kasihku

Mencintaimu tak mengenal waktu
Tak mengenal puitis
hanya tulusnya hati
mencintaimu tak mengenal ragu
keyakinan hatiku hanya untuk dirimu selalu

Cintaku tak berdusta
Tak mengenal ingkar
Tak kenal nestapa
Tak ada seribu janji
Hanya bahagia untuk selamanya
Apa yang kurasakan ini
Persembahan untuk dirimu
Kau benarkan kasihku
Mencintaimu tak mengenal waktu
Tak mengenal puitis hanya tulusnya hati
Mencintaimu tak mengenal ragu
Keyakinan hatiku hanya untuk dirimu selalu

Apa yang kurasakan ini
Persembahan untuk dirimu
Kau dengarkan kasihku

oooo

Mencintaimu tak mengenal waktu
Tak mengenal puitis hanya tulusnya hati
Mencintaimu tak mengenal ragu
Keyakinan hatiku hanya untuk dirimu selalu

Team building 2008- Pangkor Island

This is the third time i went to pangkor Island... 2 times for team building and a personal trip with my family. Some of the snapshot there...

Escape to Genting? Hmmm...

Out of many-many chances and opportunity to Genting (including a few free one from my company) we have choose last weekend to go to Genting Highland for the first time.Sebelum ni rasa cam malas sangat nak gi genting walaupun dua tiga kali gak dapat free trip dari kompeni aku.Tapi sebab tak penah pegi rasa gak nak pegi sekali.Plus the kids are bigger now , perhaps they will enjoy it.Deen booked the hotel and package of indoor and outdoor game for the family at The website . Total for superior triple room for one night and game package are (145+167)=RM312 . We departed from penang at almost 8.00 am and reached at the skyway station at about 1.00 pm.We parked the car from there and continue the journey on the skyway.Return ticket for the skyway is RM10 per pax, no child price just adult price, child below 3 yrs , free. tiba-tiba macam terdengar-dengar lagu kenangan terindah from samsons... wanna hear the song with me? do it here. lagi satu lagu samsons yang aku rasa touching bila dengar ialah Luluh Waaa....

Luluh
by Samsons

Saat terindah saat bersamamu
Begitu lelapnya aku pun terbuai
Sebenarnya aku telah berharap
Ku kan memiliki dirimu selamanya

Segenap hatiku luluh lantak
Mengiringi dukaku yang kehilangan dirimu
Sungguh 'ku tak mampu untuk meredah kepedihan hatiku
Untuk merelakan kepergianmu

Ingin kuyakini cinta takkan berakhir
Namun takdir menuliskan kita harus berakhir

Segenap hatiku luluh lantak
Mengiringi dukaku yang kehilangan dirimu
Sungguh ku tak mampu untuk meredah kepedihan hatiku
Untuk merelakan kepergianmu

Ku tak sanggup merelakanmu..
Segenap hatiku luluh lantak
Mengiringi dukaku yang kehilangan dirimu
Sungguh ku tak mampu untuk meredah kepedihan hatiku
untuk merelakan kepergianmu




Fresh from the bed...except kakak.. on the way to genting higland..we drop by for cha and ain's shower and breakfast at...i think somewhere in Tanjung Malim.


The first family ride near the outdoor theme park entrance...slow giler.



View from the top of one of the family ride..something call bird view? if i'm not mistaken.


Eat? always the biggest agenda for Mama, anywhere...Buffet breakfast included in the room package.



Water theme park.

OK...back to Genting higland story...So we check in at about 3.00 PM. The good thing when you buy from internet is you're consider the world club member and you dont have to q to checkin. First world hotel is the hotel with the most numbers of rooms in the world which is 6000 + rooms. So just imagine the hassle if you have to q to checkin , esp during the weekends.The room is comfortable... triple superior has 3 double beds... more than enough for the five of us..no ketle or coffee making facilities in the room but you can always get it from the pantry.

Baru je nak ambik gambar tiba-tiba hantu lilin ni datang ntah dari mana-mana dan menempek kat kami...tengok muka syazwani yang menjeling dengan jelesnya...

personally aku tak suka sangat ngan trip ni. If not for the kids, i'll say that i'll never go there again.It would be my first and last....Tempat ni tak sesuai ngan orang kampung cam aku who see entertainment and vacation differently.

I just remember a conversation with deen a few days ago. We're talking about one of our fren, yang kononnya frust sebab kena tinggal ngan first bf dia dan sampai sekarang tak kawin-kawin lagi. I said to deen, for me losing love is like you fall from a very high place, it's either you bounce back or you let yourself lie flat there forever.It's about choice, and about apreciating yourself.But if you bounce back, make sure you bounce high enough so you will never drop again.Or ... just make sure there is somebody to catch you when you bounce...hahaha...

For whatever it is ...like Deen always said...hapiness is when you can appreciate today, and appreciate people around you...the way it is

Quest for happiness

CINTA -MELLY GOESLOW FT KRIS DAYANTI

Menatap jalan yang menjauh
Tentukan arah yang ku mau
Tempatkan aku pada satu
Peristiwa yang membuat hati lara

Di dekat engkau aku tenang
Sendu matamu penuh tanya
Misteri hidup akan kah menghilang
Dan bahagia di akhir cerita

Cinta tegarkan hatiku
Tak mau sesuatu merenggut engkau
Naluriku berkata
Tak ingin terulang lagi
Kehilangan cinta hati
Bagai raga tak bernyawa

Aku junjung petuamu
Cintai dia yang mencintaiku
Hati yang dulu belayar
Kini telah menepi
Bukankah hidup kita
Akhirnya harus bahagia

Cinta
Biar saja ada
Yang terjadi biar saja terjadi
Bagaimanapun hidup
Memang hanya cerita
Cerita tentang meninggalkan dan yang ditinggalkan
Cinta…..


love the lyrics? hear the song here: Cinta

"Aku junjung petuamu , cintai dia yang mencintaiku...." It reminds me on an old advise from a friend. Well... it's definitely true... u have to love someone that u know really love u...How much you love someone is never counted if u never get back what u give.Thanks for the advise...Aku menyayangi setelah disayangi... it's more meaningful...and valuable...:)

Datu Mohd Rithauddeen, I Love you so much....







Moving Back....

After more than 2 years of hassle , passing through the bridge every morning, Have to wake up before 5.30 , stuck in the jam for hours... we have decided to move back to our apartment.Hmmmm...our first house...where my heart always belong to.W/pun umah taman sutera i bigger dan aku memang suka duk kat situ , kat apartment ni rasa aman dan tenteram. Ini gambar yang kami tangkap sebelum pindah keluar dari apartment to ,august 2004. Lepas menyewakannya selama 3 tahun setengah..aku pun tak tau nak expect apa jadi kat umah tu sekarang.





try to lift as much as greenery that i could...:) At 15th floor...rasa gondol sangat kalau tak de pokok. We have hacked 2 balconies and the planter box into one big balcony (180 sq ft).



Alani at the age of 3 + masa kami masih tinggal kat sana, tengah swimming ngan her grandfather.

sebab kami masih kena manage 2 houses we plan to stay kat island only for weekdays and balik semula ke taman sutera masa weekend...ala-ala vacation house gitu.... cheee...macam orang kaya ...hahaha...tapi nampak gaya kena install fertigation system la untuk pokok2 aku yang banyak kat taman sutera ni...kopak le...

pool area where we used to spent our evening and weekend.


I luv this apartment so much....:)





good old time

Yesterday one of my closest friend during university days called me.It's soooo... good to hear from her after a very-very long time... last time we met was somewhere in the midle of 2004...before i got pregnant to Ain syazwani..and never heard anything from her since then. I change my phone no and forgot to inform anybody...The first time i met her was on the matriculation registration day at Mat Jiwa sg petani in 1992.We have been closed since then.Dia ni selamba giler. paling best aku ni dah le suka gelak tak tentu pasal, dia pulak suka buat unexpected lawak ...bila buat lawak muka selamba rock je...



an old picture dated back in 1997 , showing me and her at Tapah Bus station on our way to cameron Highland.

sume family dia aku kenal, dia pun sama gak ngan family aku. she's there masa aku grad...kawin...dan banyak lagi...mak dia pun penah cakap aku ni more to family to them...lamanya tak jumpa mak kau.Dia orang KL tapi sekarang duk ada kat ulu Tebong Melaka....: takut nak cakap tebong ulu nanti orang tebong marah....ahaks....My tentative promise to visit her in Melaka next weekend...dunno whether can make it or not...

Me , aida and Riena in 1997. Guys... I miss the old days so much....


yg malasnya pegi melaka ni ramai sgt gang kat sana...kalau kumpul kat satu rumah ok le... tapi kalau nak pegi sume rumah habis le cuti kami...see first le ye...kalau ada masa dan dah tak de tempat kat KL yang kami boleh pegi lagi...sampai le ke sana...kalau nak suruh Riena masak boleh le kami gi makan....:). Atau senang2 jumpa kat umah parent kau kat ampang je...Aku tahu ngkau cuma boleh baca blog ni bila kau punya modem dah ok je...next time kalau dah tahu kat tebong tu kuat kena petir ...belila a good surge protector.



Deen , Me and Riena

She and Riena ni kiranya chapron/bodyguard aku la masa mula2 kawan ngan deen dulu...selalu dating berempat....sib baik deen tak kisah...hehehe...